Saturday 22 February 2020

5 October 2019 – Rotherham United v Coventry City


5 October 2019 – Rotherham United 4 Coventry City 0 (10,337)

Off to Rotherham to watch Rotherham United take on Coventry City, who were unbeaten in the league so far this season. The ground is called the New York Stadium and is a new tick off the list for both Sam and me., meaning I am up to 36 of the current 92, and Sam's on 11. New York was the name of the area of the town where the stadium is located, and it seems like every business in the area plays on it. New York Tavern, New York Kebab, New York Taxi, even a Central Park garage complete with a metal cut-out of the statue of liberty. Things are just as bad inside the ground. The programme is called the New Yorker and half the songs played on the tannoy have New York references. But no New York Dolls sadly. 


Parking was very simple and cheap at £2 in the Westgate car park, which is actually a fenced off patch of wasteland. From there just follow the people around a couple of corners and there it is, a modern looking tissue box style place with two crazily angled floodlight pylons poking through the roof. Looks quite good. Programmes and 50/50 tickets are freely on offer outside for £3 and £1 respectively. Through the barcode turnstiles and onto the concourse, Sam was hoping for a proper cheeseburger for a change, he's not had much luck this season so far. Sure enough, advertised near all the kiosks – cheeseburger, yes! Unfortunately when we ordered we were told “We've got no cheese”, what a load of rubbish. £11.90 for a dry burger, steak & kidney pie, Bovril and a water is not cheap.


I attracted a few mean stares as we walked along the concourse and then realised I was wearing a Leeds United “El Loco” hoodie, bless 'em though, nobody said a word. Our seats were in the top row, seat numbers 1 and 2, and the view was excellent – apart from the two herberts who stood up in front of us all game. There was a drum next to the pitch but it was still there at kick-off so we thought we'd been spared that nonsense – only for the ruddy mascot Miller Bear to start banging the damned thing. Miller Bear kept disappearing under the family stand at random intervals through the match, we suspect it was to have drumsticks removed from his anus, inserted there by peed off supporters.


The match itself was entertaining, four goals, two penalties, a red card and pyros thrown onto the pitch, leading to eleven minutes added on at the end. To my surprise the atmosphere was good, the Coventry fans really made a racket until they went behind, and the Rotherham fans made some noise here and there as well. In fact at one point all four sides of the stadium were at it, smoke was billowing from the flares, and a player was dismissed, a very enjoyable few minutes.

And so back to Westgate car park and the usual free for all to get out. A bloke in the car next to us helpfully said “You have to push in” before driving his car into the side of another – cue pushing and shoving followed by fisticuffs, a bawling child, and a most entertaining few minutes as we departed. I don't think Rotherham does very well for tourism, it's industrial and grim, and is indeed a shithole. But for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon at the football, passable.


And so to the scoring:
Atmosphere 3.5
Food & Drink 2.5
Stadium 4
Value For Money 4

Bonuses for Bovril, mascot in a costume, 50/50 draw, pyros and singing at least three different songs. Half points each for half time entertainment and having a big bald bloke on the pitch. 

Point deducted for home fans having a drum, terrible.

Final score 19. Rotherham United are top of our league!


Current table:
1 – Rotherham United – 19.0
2 – Boston United – 15.0
3 – Falkirk – 13.0
4 – Mansfield Town – 12.0

Total goals so far = 14. Average goals = 3.5. Global average 2.75.


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